Free Emotional Abuse Quiz
If you’re looking for an example of emotional abuse, this quiz covers 19 different types of emotional abuse.
The emotional abuse examples will bring you clarity if you…
– have been to years of couple therapy or marriage therapy and things haven’t improved.
– suspect your husband is lying or gaslighting.
– wonder why your husband is angry all the time about little things.
Is He Emotionally Abusive? - Examples
Does something feel off in your marriage? This free emotional abuse quiz includes each example of emotional abuse you need to determine what’s going on with your husband.
This type of abuse often hides in plain sight. It can be subtle and leave you questioning your reality. That’s why real life examples can help you see it clearly.
Here’s the best quiz that takes all 19 different emotional abuse tactics into account.
Free Emotional Abuse Quiz: With Examples
19 Emotional Abuse Examples
This test for emotional abuse will help you recognize these 19 emotional abuse tactics he may be using.
It’s likely not just “all in your head.”
You deserve to understand what’s happening and find a path to safety and healing.
10 Subtle but Devastating Examples of Emotional Abuse from a Husband
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Is it really abuse if he’s never laid a hand on me?”—you’re not alone. It may be easier to see if you have an example of emotional abuse.
Many women in emotionally abusive relationships feel confused, drained, or like they’re “losing it,” but they can’t quite pinpoint why.
That’s because emotional abuse rarely starts with screaming or threats. It often hides behind silence, twisted logic, or “harmless” lies.
Below are real-life examples of emotional abuse, especially common in marriages where the husband wants control without accountability.
1. Lying (Even About the Small Stuff)
Emotional abuse is often in the form of lying, usually about where he’s been, who he talks to, what he feels. You may catch him in small lies that don’t make sense or contradict what he told you yesterday.
When confronted, he might shift blame, minimize, or say “You’re overreacting.”
But lying isn’t just about facts. It’s about rewriting your shared reality so you no longer trust your gut.
2. Countering (Invalidating Your Reality)
You say, “That really hurt me,” and he replies, “You’re too sensitive.”
You remember something clearly, and he insists it never happened.
This is called countering. It’s a tactic where he disputes your memory, feelings, or interpretation of events to keep control of the narrative. Over time, you may find yourself second-guessing everything, even your own emotions.
3. Withholding Information
He doesn’t technically lie, but he also doesn’t tell you the full truth.
He “forgets” to mention he had lunch with a female coworker. He doesn’t tell you about financial decisions that affect the family. He withholds affection, information, or clarity, keeping you in a fog of uncertainty—while still insisting he’s honest.
This is a form of emotional manipulation that makes him the gatekeeper of reality. Getting away from it will help you thrive.
4. Stonewalling (Shutting You Out Emotionally)
When he doesn’t want to be held accountable, he stops conversation. It can come in many forms:
- Walking away mid-conversation.
- Staring at his phone while you talk.
- Giving you the silent treatment for hours or even days.
Stonewalling is emotional abandonment—it sends the message: “Your needs don’t matter, and I will punish you for having them.”
5. Accusing You of What He’s Doing (Projection)
He accuses you of cheating, lying, hiding things—or not being committed to the marriage. But you know those accusations have no basis in reality. And deep down, you may even suspect he’s the one doing those things.
Projection is a classic abuse tactic. It deflects attention from his own wrongdoing and keeps you on the defensive.
6. Shifting the Blame
When you try to talk about how his actions affect you, he flips the script:
- “You’re always nagging.”
- “If you weren’t so insecure, I wouldn’t have to lie.”
- “You’re impossible to talk to.”
Blaming you when you didn’t do anything wrong is an example of emotional abuse to pay attention to.
7. Minimizing Your Pain
You express hurt, and he laughs it off. Or worse, he says, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
This sends the message that your feelings aren’t valid. Minimizing your emotional pain conditions you to stay quiet, disconnected, and unsure of what’s real.
8. Rewriting History
You try to confront something he said or did in the past, but suddenly the story changes. You’re told it didn’t happen that way—or that you’re remembering it wrong.
Over time, these tiny edits to shared memories leave you wondering if you’re the problem. This is a powerful form of gaslighting, and it’s one of the most damaging examples of emotional abuse.
9. Performing for Others, Withholding at Home
He’s charming in public, helpful at church, generous with friends—but distant, irritable, or dismissive at home. The contrast is dizzying.
This leaves you feeling isolated, because no one else sees what you see. Worse, if you speak up, people may think you’re the one overreacting.
10. Making You the “Crazy One”
You try to make sense of what’s happening, but every conversation turns into an attack on your character:
- “You need help.”
- “You’re unstable.”
- “No one else would put up with you.”
This emotional abuse tactic isn’t random—it’s designed to break your confidence and make you dependent on his version of reality.
You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” You’re Being Harmed.
If you recognized yourself in any of these examples of emotional abuse, you’re not imagining things—and you’re not alone.
Many emotionally abusive men never raise a hand. Instead, they chip away at your sense of self until you feel exhausted, confused, and numb.
But healing starts with clarity. When you can name the tactics, you can stop internalizing the harm.
You don’t have to do this alone. The daily Group Sessions and Living Free Workshop at Betrayal Trauma Recovery help women just like you break free from emotional abuse—with clarity, not chaos.
Examples of Emotional Abuse Symptoms
You don’t just feel “off.” You’re being affected—deeply and daily.
Women in emotionally abusive marriages often overlook these symptoms because they blame themselves, or they’ve been told they’re “too emotional.” But these are common emotional abuse symptoms, and they’re signs your nervous system is working overtime to survive a toxic environment.
Constant Confusion
“I feel like I’m always trying to figure out what just happened—what he meant, why he changed, whether I’m the problem.”
Self-Doubt
“I question myself constantly. I used to be confident. Now, I second-guess even the smallest decisions.”
Fear of Conflict
“I walk on eggshells. I avoid bringing things up because I already know how it’ll go—denial, blame, or silence.”
Emotional Numbness
“I don’t even know what I feel anymore. It’s like I shut down just to get through the day.”
Guilt for Having Needs
“I feel selfish for asking for anything—time, help, even honesty. I’ve been told I expect too much.”
Isolation & Loneliness
“I feel completely alone, even when I’m sitting right next to him. It’s like I’m invisible.”
Feeling “Crazy”
“I try to explain what’s going on, and somehow I’m always the problem. I’ve started to wonder if I’m losing my mind.”
Each of these is an emotional abuse example—not because you’re weak, but because you’re surviving something that’s meant to confuse and deplete you.
At Betrayal Trauma Recovery, We Get It
Every woman on our team has experienced emotional abuse from a husband and can help you with real life examples.
We’ve all suffered from Betrayal Trauma due to his lies, manipulation, gaslighting, and counter-parenting.
Over 6,039,877 Women Served
Apple Podcast
4,239,612
downloads
Downloads
90,000
per month
@BtrOrg
10,400
followers
@BtrOrg
87,600
followers
@betrayaltraumarecovery
93,000
@btr.org_
46,600
followers
Where can I get Support?
This video will answer all of your questions about our online support group for women experience their husband’s emotional abuse.